Just A Short Note

Goodness, how long has it been since my last visit here? Look at the dusty floor! Look at the all the dirty stains on the curtains! Oh dear, there seems to be a string of cobwebs hanging over the doorway! Can you believe that somebody even had the nerve to walk around in mud covered boots?!

(Oh dear. Re-reading that first paragraph, I see that I rashly allowed myself to be carried away by the occasion and now I have already used up my entire stock of exclamation marks for 2006. Oh, folly. Now what will I do when the new year celebration comes round? I may have to pop over to the offices of the nearest glossy women's magazine and borrow some of their exclamation marks. They seem to have an inexhaustible supply.)

This calls for some major spring cleaning, and sharpish.

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"God grant us," said Robert Burns "the strength to see ourselves as others see us". Well, he didn't really use those precise words, but they certainly were to that effect. It was a well acknowledged fact that Robert Burns recited his poems in a thick Scottish brogue, so it was frequently hard to really make out what he was trying to say.

On the whole, I do agree that it would be a nice change to see ourselves as others see us, but perhaps not all of the time. That would be too depressing. I would never be able to go out in public again (Of course, I rarely do go out in public nowadays, but it would still be depressing). If ever given that I am to see myself as others do, then I hope that it happens in a short, quick burst some time when I am in the kitchen - or the bathroom - alone, far away from civilisation so that I may cope with the mortification and lick my wounds in peace and private. I would not, for instance, wish for it to happen in front of a camera crew, a presenter with a sharp tongue and a vast viewing audience.

I suppose this is where the golden adage "Ignorance is bliss" is most relevant.