An Uncommon Dialogue

Sometimes I feel so shallow in the company of female colleagues. Really, I do. I acknowledge that women - God bless their fickle charm - are one step ahead of men. But the experience I had a few nights' back left me feeling stumped, confounded and shallow, of course.

"Every woman is a goddess", an acquaintance typed out to me in Yahoo! Messenger the other day. I imagine had it been that we were facing each other in a real life conversation, she'd have given me the haughty look that goddesses have. At the back of my mind, however, I think it might have resembled more of the haughty look that llamas have, but I let it pass.

"But if every woman is a goddess," I typed out slowly so that I could understand, "then what exactly does it mean to be a goddess? Doesn't it just mean being like every other woman? Surely the word 'goddess' then has no special meaning? If every woman is a goddess, why not just go on calling yourselves women?"

"You are applying masculine thought proccesses to a phenomenal experience" said the goddess. I didn't know how phenomenal I was finding the experience, but I plugged on ahead nevertheless.

"So surely, there must be room for improvement in this world of goddessness?" I persisted, feeling a headache coming on. "Are there different levels of goddess? Like, are there normal goddesses, and then someone like you, who is an advanced goddess?"

I imagine she would have given a little toss of her head whilst typing out "Clearly, you do not understand non-rational wisdom".

Now that is the type of person with whom you do not want to have a conversation.
If Neale Donald Walsch had written Conversations with A Goddess, he would have probably sold about four copies (and the movie copyrights would have probably ended up with Prof A. Razak Mohaideen).

Now do you understand why I feel so shallow when I'm around girls?

Of Jocks And Nerds

I have been feeling quite uneasy for past two weeks or so, and I don't think that the exams have anything to do with it. Well, the exams might have something to do with it, but for the most part, I daresay that my feelings of queasiness stems from something much, much darker. I constantly find myself waking up in the middle of the night (not due to frequency, mind you) only to discover my palms sweating and my heart beating ever-slightly-a-bit-more-rapid than usual.

The reason behind my state of near paranoia is this -


For those who don't know about it yet, Canis Canem Edit (or, Bully, as it is known in Northern America) is about a 15 year old lad by the name of Jimmy Hopkins and his (mis)adventures in a new boarding school i.e. Bullworth Academy. The game follows Jimmy as he juggles between studies, friends, social companions (read: girls), factions in the school (the nerds, jocks, preppies, greasers) and of course, bullies - all on a daily basis.

Everybody, meet Jimmy Hopkins

Now, you might be asking "Why the big fuss over a game?" The reason, dear readers, is because this particular game somewhat brings back memories of my past. Memories which are not so pleasant, at best.

I am ashamed to admit it, but during my growing up years, I used to be the target of bullies. I don't know why, but bigger and nastier boys always saw it fit - and entertaining, I suspect - to humiliate me in public. Must be because of my timid and docile nature back then.

Fortunately, I didn't have to go through this.

Though I can't really say that the experience scarred me for life, it most certainly left a bitter taste lingering in my mouth. Something like eating a bitter gourd, I suppose. Nobody wants to have to go through the same experience twice, especially eating a bitter gourd.

Faces which are just asking for it. I think I most resemble the one in the middle - minus the goofy looking glasses.

Looking back, I wish I had the courage to stand up to those bullies. I wish I could have looked at them in the eye and tell them to stop disturbing me. It would have given me some self confidence and a sense of achievement (something which I sorely need, with the Royal Debate around the corner). But never mind. That's all in the past, and now, I'm content enough with ignoring those who I don't like. Still...it'd be nice to throw back a few punches for shows. Just kidding.

Giving 'im the ol' one-two

p.s. I do not, in any way, suggest using violence as a way to get back at those bullies with brains about the size of walnuts. You wouldn't be any better than them if you resorted to that method. Instead, do all your punching in the game. At least nobody gets hurt; save the nerds and jocks, perhaps.

Where I'm Heading To

Yes, I see a very bright future in the two weeks of coming holidays.