Thursday, 4 March 2021

Caffeinated

I have a million other things which need to be addressed, so of course the natural course of action would be to instead turn to this dusty, cob-webbed blog of mine and try to compose at least one coherent sentence where I don't sound like the village idiot. Alas, since I have developed quite a penchant for rambling nonsensically paragraph after paragraph, I think I am more or less set for life. Still, being elected the village idiot is far more desirable than being an idiot on the Internet. While the former still has a chance at retiring with a handsome pension, the latter is pretty much stuck being a fool forever. Remember kids - the internet never forgets.

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Have you ever been to Starbucks, gentle reader? Oh, what am I even asking? Of course you have, sophisticated being that you are. These days, one can hardly walk a few meters outside without tripping over their shoelaces and suddenly finding themselves in line to order a tall glass of hot caramel macchiato. Starbucks - or the overpriced cafe moonlighting as a coffee house, as I like to call it - has become so ubiquitous, so synonymous with modern living that even the uncles and aunties are dropping by to get their caffeine fix. 

As I type this sentence - and I promise I am not making this up - two elderly couples walk in and join the queue to order. Wait, make that three. Aaaaaand four. Where are these golden citizens coming from? Did they charter a school bus or something? Or did the local population suddenly and rapidly age, and these are actually 20-year-olds whose appearance just so happens to be similar to the fried rice uncle whom I frequent at least twice a week?

Anyway, as I was saying - Starbucks. Modern living. Yada yada. 

If you told me 20 years ago that people would regularly pay upwards of RM 20 for over sweetened coffee, I'd have probably laughed and go kicked a ball, but these days, that's pretty much the reality, isn't it? Ditto the over sweetened coffee. I remember bringing up in a conversation that only hippies with expensive Macbooks and iPhones go to Starbucks unironically. Well, guess what - I have become that hippie. Yes, you read that correctly. Like a young Anakin Skywalker who slowly spiraled into despair and eventually embraced the Dark Side, so too have I surrendered myself to the Green Siren. 

At least let me take pride in the fact that I have managed to practice restrain all this while and not taken a picture of my drink to upload on social media.....

Noooooooooooooo!


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