Tuesday 20 November 2007

www.stupidcupid.com

Ever the ingenious creature, Man has always sought out creative solutions to the daily problems that his fellow humans face. For example, fire was discovered when the fish just didn't taste that good eaten raw anymore. Wheels were invented when walking started to get tiresome. And of course, the mother of all inventions - the television - was created to pass the time until the next big thing happens.

Out of all these charming ideas, one has always confused me - matchmaking sites.

"Why don't you go on and register an account to see for yourself what's it all about?" suggested an acquaintance on mine when I asked him the question. It was one of those rare days when I was still reeling over from last night's reading, and my head was not in it's accustomed place. So I said "Why not?"

This friend of mine suggested a site which he knows of (by what means I have no idea). "Quite popular with the singles of our own ASEAN neighbours. Who knows, you might snare yourself a lovely Filipino island girl!" he quipped with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Err...Let's put away any far-fetched ideas for the time being, shall we?" was my pathetic reply.

I then proceeded to give my email account for the registration process. "Browse millions of singles and meet the love of your life!" the advert next to it joyously claimed. I was beginning to have doubts. Any printed material which claims to help you find the love of your life without having to lift your sorry bottom deserves to be looked upon with a raised eyebrow.

Anyway, the page refreshed soon enough and I was brought to the particulars page. I think it's called as such since the questions were so particular in nature. They ranged from "Describe yourself in your own words" to asking about my height, body type and whether or not I wanted to have children. "Goodness", I thought to myself. "Mum would most certainly disagree to inquisitions of this kind". But I trudged on ahead.

After that, I was asked to upload a photo. Not wanting to expose too much of myself, I kindly declined the offer and skipped on to the next step. "Tell your friends about (name censored due to professional reasons) and let them help you look for love!". Well, I most certainly did not want those friends to know about my involvement in this. I am being made fun of by them given as it is, and I certainly do not need them to laugh at me more than they already do. So I skipped that too.

And I was done! As expected, there was no real sense of accomplishment; just the kind of feeling one gets after having downed a half liter glass of water without taking a breath in between gulps, which is not that pleasant to begin with.

"So what now?" I asked my friend.

"Well....you wait".

"And then what?"

"Urm....you wait some more. Wait until someone is interested enough in you to leave a message or something like that".

"Well, how's that going to help me find 'the love of my life'?"

"I don't know. I suppose it just needs to be taken as an article of faith".

Well, I am happy to report that it's been two weeks into this little psychosocial experiment of mine and I have received only one hit.

I deleted my account yesterday.

14 comments:

Robin said...

Do you actually NEED to traverse the seven skies looking for a soulmate? I have always have this belief of God has destined someone for us. Maybe soon enough, maybe later that person will uncloak him/herself for you. I know, I know. Call me conservative. But it just seemed like the right thing to do, you know. To sit patiently and let the wind of mercy brings 'the love of our life' to our doorstep.

Oh, then again. You're a guy. Now that makes a completely different story.

Anonymous said...

Why delete account so fast one??

Filipino island girl just about to respond. And I look just like Yna Macaspac of Pangako Sa'Yo

Just waiting to sip young coconut juice with you...... ;)

Jamil said...

robin - First of all, let's clear something up: I wasn't looking for the love of my life. I was just curious to as why people frequent such sites. Yes, I realise that my sense of inquiry should go to better things such as why are the Japanese still hunting down humpback whales, but then I couldn't conduct an experiment on that.

And why is being a guy such a different story?

Island girl - Err..thanks but no thanks. I'm quite picky when it comes to young coconut juice.

Anonymous said...

i think u should upload the pic la.not ur real pic but some korean actors pic maybe.at least that worked for me,before that hot filipino girl realised i'm not actually Rain.haha

Robin said...

What's the point in having everybody waiting when noone is actually out seeking?

Both will actually come out empty-handed when it's supposed to be a win-win game.

aw3rz: Jangan guna gambar Rain la..sedih betul. Unless you think your 'kehenseman' is as equal? *rolling eyes*

Jamil said...

awe - Ah, but I did. You see, after a few days of inactivity, I decided to put a picture of myself - at least a picture of my face. Looking back, I should have realised that I was driving a nail through my coffin doing that.

robin - Good point there. I'll remember that the next time somebody manages to persuade me to sign up for another account.

Jalilah said...

Hmm..Quite an experiment you underwent.

You never ceased to surprise me with your witty comments and hilarious but smart entries. Wish I have that. Haha...

plus, takde kerja lain eh? haha.. Just kidding!!! Jgn marah :-D

dith said...

I thought your parents are doing the matchmaking for you??

Anonymous said...

Hiyoshi...., I dont mind you doing the picking of young coconuts.

All that I'm suggesting is that, we do the sipping of the juice together. ;)

pycnogenol said...

DITH - I think the monkey,...oops...sorry,Hiyoshi (I mean), prefers to pick his own coconut!

pycnogenol said...

BTW Hiyoshi, I agree with Jalilah, and predict this entry is going to be a hit!!

Pycno - scratching his head for ideas for his long overdue entry. Aiyoo...memang saya tak berbakat!!

Jamil said...

jalilah - I get it from my parents. They introduced me to the joys of cynicism and sarcastic remarks. Thanks for the compliment :)

By the way, I do have better things to do. But isn't it always fun to divert your attention once in a while?

DITH - Really? They are? I never did realise we're still living in the 1950s *smirk* Just kidding!

Island Girl - Err...

Pycnogenol - I wonder why? *wink*

sarahss said...

wahaha long time no visit your blog - has been quite a while, i figure. so seems that your entries are kind of lingering about the same issue, isn't it? i've had a hit once at one of these matchmaking sites - and boy, they do, like, make you feel absurd at times..huhu. and yes, they're pretty much worthless.

just a hint from me: if you want your future significant other to be decent, nice etc.,the key is to become as what you wish her to be. and of course, non-stop prayers; our main weapon.

another hint: well, i'm not accusing long-distance relationships to be flawed whatsoever, but short ones - the easily-observed ones, are better and more secure, i think. coz you get to see how the person's attitude is in real life - hence, you'd have less doubts of that person wearing a so-called flawless mask and identity, that nowadays are prone to be encountered virtually.

and of course, vital-est thing ever: look at the virtue that'd lead you to eternal happiness. you know what i mean =)

"Bad women are for bad men; good women are for good men, such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Kareem (generous provision i.e. Paradise) - An-Noor:26

and yes - i'm no love doctor eyh *wink*wink*

Jamil said...

sarah - Really? I don't know. Must be a coming of age thingy. Either that or I have been influenced by all this marriage talk spewing ever so violently from the mouths of my friends.