Wednesday 7 May 2008

The Idiot In The Iron Mask

"We are" typed out my friend, presumably while jumping up and down, "going to have a masquerade ball in July. Isn't that exciting?"

I stared at the sentence while pondering over what reaction might I get if I typed back "OMG, thatz so d bomb! U totally rawks!" to show how terribly excited I was. Most probably, I'd get a virtual door slammed in my face. And that is just being polite.

But in all honesty, a masquerade ball does sound exciting, and yes, I do confess that I am attracted to the idea. I've always been interested in occasions where you are permitted to not be yourself (another good example would be during Parliamentary sessions).

The idea of wearing a costume together with a mask sounds medievally romantic, wouldn't you agree? In fact, if memory serves me well, I think Meat Loaf - which let no one tell you otherwise, is not a cool name - used the whole idea as a theme for his video clip of "It's all coming back to me now". People say it's a powerfully passionate love ballad, but making a wild guess based on only the title, I think it's about a man who's sobering up from last night's drunkfest.

But I digress.

Putting on a mask means not having to reveal your true identity to others, which in my opinion, is a good thing on such an event. During occasions such as this where you are required to put your best foot forward, not having to show your face kind of helps, I suppose. Just think of the possible wonders worked by an elegant mask on the resident nerd - he'd finally have a fighting chance in his unholy quest to chat up some of the most beautiful lady students on the campus. Not only that, he may even get a response.

Bear in mind though, that this miralce will only work if the mask was truly a magnificient piece of work testimony to the genius of refined human hands of the highest order. Those with toucan beaks won't do. Lion manes will also have to go. Any mask which results in the wearer fairly resembling Andrew Lloyd Webber is an absolute no-no. Gold tint is a nice touch and plume coming from an endangered species of bird rakes in top accolades. You'll be so attractive to others that even representatives from PETA will come down swooping swooning upon you.

However, at the end of the day, no mask how beautiful it may be is substitute for a genuinely charming personality. Sure you can pluck off the feathers of every single Po'o-uli you can get your hands on (which might not be that many, mind you) to lord over every other masquerader, but still if you have the personality of a toad and the social finese of a charging rhino, all that effort will have gone to waste. Not a single mask can mask the mannerism of Conan the Barbarian.

Having said that, I am still very excited over the idea that one of my friends will be going to a masquerade ball and I would very much like to attend it too. Any seats left?

12 comments:

pycnogenol said...

Hiyoshi, are you now a traffic guard keeping a close watch at the live traffic feed?

I always like to go places incognito. How do you propose I do that now? Masquerading?

P/S - I'd also welcome comment from DITH on this issue. ;)

Anonymous said...

hehe.. didn't think that you would write on this! well, there is still a seat reserved for u if u want! contact me a.s.a.p! haha..

dith said...

I think Masquerade parties were invented by insecure psychopathic morons. They were probably schizophrenics or MDPs even, in one of their manic moods.

Anyway if you do get invited by the masked girl, I'd suggest you don a Javaness wooden carved mask with a java batik cap and frizzy black wig. Even the resident nerd will look macho in this masquerade. I'm sure, beautiful girls in the likes of Maya Karin or Fazura or (who's that girl in Puteri?<----u like her don't you? hehe) would swamp upon you incessantly.

Jamil said...

pycnogenol - Out there in the modern world, you will need a more cunning tool to help cover your identity, rather than a mask which would stand out like a sore thumb. Black shades will do the trick nicely, and a false beard would help give you that poet look.

masked girl - The internet has given you unspeakable anonymity, yet you're still wearing a mask when going online? You must really not want others to know who you are *laugh*

DITH - I do suppose you're right. Says here in Wikipedia that some important Swedish bloke was assassinated by a nobleman during one of their masquerade balls. Scary.

Muna said...

i know a place where u can rent the masks. its in hartamas. dont waste ur money buying sthg u wont wear again. call me! hehe

ifos said...

Err... a ball means dancing, right?? please don't tell me this is happening in good ol' Malaysia... hehe.

ifos said...

And pycno, ditto on going incognito ;P

Jamil said...

muna - Do they have anything that'll make me look like Jamie Oliver? That should be scary enough. Oh, wait...this isn't Halloween we're talking about.

ifos - Haha. Not at all. There won't be any dancing whatsoever; it's just a prize-giving ceremony or something like that. They're using the term 'masquerade ball' simply because calling it 'masquerade prize-giving ceremony or something like that' would be taxing on the tongue :P

By the way, how are you? Having your exams now, right? Do let us know of your good results when they come out :)

Anonymous said...

lol, I took one look at your title entry and was all like, "An Ironman review!"

I get creepy vibes every time I come across the word masquerade, too much TV and horror influence from the books I guess. :p

sarahss said...

this post reminds me of zorro. haha. though i find masquerade balls presumably risk-offensive, they may, in a way, make one feel all the way jiggly. talking about the goosebumps you get whilst conversing with a masked prince. oops, too much tv!! :P

ifos said...

no, our exams start next month. Still feeling all calm n serene now. lol. thanks for the vote of confidence =)

Jamil said...

crimsonskye - How nice of you to drop by :) Where have you been all this while?

And...how did you get the idea that the post was supposedly a review on Iron Man? *chortle*

sarah - Yes. Just imagine the embarrassment you'd face if it turned out that your masked prince wasn't exactly the chap you were hoping for!

ifos - Calm before the storm? Hehe...